Michelle has many friends. They call her often. She also has a devoted family. Michelle is only alone when she chooses to be, and she is never lonely. This has always been the way for her. Since childhood, she has never lacked for companionship.

Karen has just the opposite experience of life. She makes friends but loses them quickly. She seldom contacts her family, mainly because they often argue about small things. Loneliness is habitual for her. Even when she is with other people, she feels lonelybecause she can’t feel a connection with them.

Ram

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Barbara Streisand once sang a song that went something like this: People. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world. What an interesting line. It would seem to make more sense to say that people who have people are the luckiest people in the world. There is a truth here we all need to catch regarding relationships: Before we can have people in our lives, we must realize how much we need people in our lives

We all are familiar with the majestic sequoia trees of California. It is surprising to learn that these massive trees have a very shallow root system. Their ability to stand is insured by the fact that the roots of all the trees are intertwined. Each tree lends support to the others to stand strong.

One of the startling facts about society is that people have become increasingly solitary. There was a day when people wandered the neighborhood and everyone knew their neighbors. Not a second thought was given to telling your child to “go next door and ask if we can borrow a cup of milk.”

Today, however, we have closed ourselves in and we barely know the people around us. The tragedy is that this is not only a phenomenon in our neighborhoods and work places. It exists within the four walls of our homes. Today, children are self-contained in their rooms. With stereos, computers, The Internet, books, and so much more, the only time some children come out of their rooms is to eat. Often that means grabbing it and going back into their isolation.

Perhaps one of the reasons meaningful relationships do not abound is because people don’t know how to do relationships. Before you can DO friendship, you have to BE a friend. In fact, the best way to get a friend is to be a friend. Here are some tips to get started

Be an Encourager
A worthy goal to attain is to encourage someone every day. There are hundreds of ways to encourage a person. People just naturally love to hear something good about themselves. The sad truth is that most people just assume that no one really notices or cares. The first building block in constructing meaningful relationships is simply to build others up.

Be a Forgiver
Here is a truth. Some of the people with whom you need to be in relationship right now, and are not, are supposed to be the very closest to you on earth. However, something happened, words were exchanged, actions were taken, trust was violated. As a result, lifelong friendships came to an end.

You know what? People are going to hurt you. And most likely, the person that is going to hurt you will come from the inner circle. This is someone you know - who is close - who knows you better then most. To this person you will have confided and made yourself vulnerable. You placed your trust in him or her. And one day when you least expect it, this trusted person may launch an attack that you cannot now nor ever will understand. Right then or even prior to that you have to make an intentional decision: you will either rise above the circumstance and forgive, or you will get lost in the muck and mire of self-pity, resentment, and bitterness. And worse than all of these, you will be tempted to never again get close to another person, nor let anyone get close to you.

Be a Listener
Some have said that God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. That reason is because of our tendency to try and impress the world with our great wisdom. All of us have something to say - albeit some more then others. One of the best things we can do for another person is to give them the gift of our ears. This is actually a sign of wisdom. Solomon, the wisest man in the world once wrote: Do not be quick with your mouthlet your words be few (Eccl 5:2 NIV).

Here are a few questions you might ponder in your quest to build strong relationships. Who has been trying to get your attention lately? Your wife? Your kids? Your employees? Your superiors? God? Think about it, really. Do you spend most of your days with your mouth open or closed? Are you more inclined to tell people what you’re thinking rather then listen to what they’re saying? Are your conversations consumed with making you the center of attention? When the attention shifts from you to another person do you try to gain it back? And if you cannot, do you move on to another person or group? Take time to listen. It is a gift worth giving.

Be a Laugher
Lighten up already. Don’t take life so seriously. Not everything in life has to be life altering and serious. Make a decision to lighten up and have some fun. Isn’t it true that we love to be around people who laugh and have fun? We have an innate desire to exercise our funny bone. Besides, it’s healthy. Solomon said “A cheerful heart is good medicine” (Proverbs 17:22).

Say “I Love You”
What a powerful phrase. “I love you.” Go ahead. Say it out loud three or four times. Years ago, Jackie DeShannon popularized the song, “What the World Needs Now is Love.” Here is the first verse:

“What the world needs now is love sweet love,
its the only thing that theres just too little of.
What the world needs now is love sweet love,
no not just for some but for everyone.”

Why is it that we sometimes have trouble expressing our love for others? Perhaps it is because in doing so we take the risk that our expression of love might be spurned. Then what would we do? One of the sweetest blessings of life is to have someone to love and to be loved. However, someone needs to initiate that blessing. Fear of vulnerability keeps many expressions and actions of love from seeing the light of day. It seems that one of the greatest challenges of life is to be the one to make the first move. Someone in your life needs to be told they are loved by you. The time to begin is now.

Here is my challenge. To whom do you need to express your love? Who needs you to be vulnerable if there is any hope for a restored relationship? Who is totally undeserving yet needing to hear you say, “I love you.” Do you have the answer? Good. Now go and do it. Say “I love you.” Who knows, it might be the beginning of something great.

Let’s close with this thought. One of the reasons relationships are so important is because they are important to God. He created mankind for the sake of fellowship. He created woman from man for the same purpose. God said of Adam, “It is not good that man should be alone.” Truer words have never been spoken. Part of the abundance God intends for each of us is that we would enjoy the journey of life, not as solitary individuals but as people - people who need people.

Have a great day!

Tim Kellerman is co-founder of The Abundant Life Project (http://www.AbundantLifeProject.com) and co-author of “The Abundance Principle: Five Keys to Extraordinary Living” (http://www.TheAbundancePrinciple.com). Tim can be reached by email at Tim@AbundantLifeProject.com.

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The Internet is certainly a great way to make new friends and find dates in your neighborhood, but what about all over the world? The answer is yes because the Internet is worldwide and you can meet individuals from anywhere simply sitting in your home on your computer. Because of this you need to be careful about beginning online relationships with individuals in foreign countries. This is not because these individuals are wrong to date; it is simply a consideration that when you want to meet your new love you will probably be the one to travel because getting a visa to the US or another industrialized country can often be very difficult.

Another reason that dating an individual in a foreign country should be considered is what will you do if you fall in love? Of course, this seems like a lot to think of before it ever happens to you. However, it is worthwhile to consider because if you do fall in love and want to meet and get married you will have to consider visas or else moving to that country yourself. Are you prepared to live in a foreign country? Are there job opportunities? Do you speak another language? Could you live away from your family? These are all things that should be considered before ever starting an online relationship with someone in another country because all of these topics will come up.

If you do decide to bring your fiance/ee to the US, UK, or other industrialized country you will have to fill out a lot of paperwork, file fees, hire a lawyer, and wait a long time. Even then the visa might not be approved and then where are you left? As a result, sometimes online dating of individuals that are not in your home country can cause a lot of hurt and heartache simply because once you decide you are in love and want to get married the road just extends longer until you can be together.

A great benefit of the Internet and online dating is that you can meet individuals worldwide, experience new cultures, new languages, and the like. However, consider the above questions before beginning a relationship with someone who does not live in your country because more times than not the relationship will not make it through the adversity that is posed. Just keep this in mind and if you are willing to put forth the effort, go ahead, but it is nice to know where you stand before you get involved and get hurt or cause someone else pain.

Jo Robinson writes for DrDating.com a site filled with dating advice and tips. Looking for help with dating, love, and relationship issues then visit the DrDating Forum.

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The right friends can make a world of difference to you. And I have one friend who comes closest to be the quintessential friend.. I withold the name.. This person has for the past 61 days made my life worth living.. I have given the person some sorrows, and I have given the person joys… in the same vein he has given me some moments where I cried bitterly, but he has also given me moments where I have cried with joy.. Today my friend gave me another of those moments where I can’t stop tears of joy running down my cheeks..

Finally, after many days, I talked to my friend without fighting.. not that I had not talked to my friend for sometime- I ring my friend up daily; it is that we talked very sweetly today.. Our relationship is a little wierd.. we just seem to always fight and then make up.. but it must be said to the credit of my friend that he always makes me feel humbled with his generosity of emotions.. notice the word “he”, you perverts… my friend is not a she as you may be thinking for this long..
How should I begin telling about my friend..! A person so very good natured, his voice so very invigorating..ah!

It feels so inexplicably good to talk to my friend.. He is really a gift of God, a gift of God to me, a way God is telling me that He loves me.. more than I think He does.. This tells me that God is there with me in the form of this friend of mine… forever caring about me …

Well, this may be my personal blog, and I may have my right to tell what I want to, but my friend has his own right to privacy. So I will not disclose something which should stay only between us…so long, my blog; will make another entry in you soon!! Good night, everybody..time for me to sleep..

And I take this opportunity to apprise you that I will sleep my best sleep today.. courtesy my friend.. He is like God to me.. and I am not exaggerating ..

Shubhanyu Jain is the co-founder of Inmistia and the Editor of Inmistia Oneness. His site provides valuable information and tips on health-related issues. This site touches various topics related to personal health, suggests tips for various health disorders. Visitors will revel in the sheer abundance of information available on the site on everything related to their health. Visit Inmistia Oneness for more information.

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How to get your man to open up?

1.Compliments are a wonderful way to affirm your man. Tell him all the wonderful things you love about him.

In so doing you endear him to you and most naturally cause him to open up and reciprocate concerning all the phenomenal things he is thrilled about concerning you.

2.Ask questions. Politely and gently ask your man how he is feeling, how his week is going and if there is anything on his mind he’d like to talk about. You know not because you ask not. If you want to know what’s on his mind, ask him.

3.Listen to him attentively when he does talk. Put down whatever it is you are doing and be an active listener. When your man is talking is not the time to multi-task. Show him that he is top priority and what he has to say matters and is most important to you.

Women by nature can typically dominate conversations as they speak more words per day than men. If you really want your man to open up than you must listen when he talks and not interrupt. The quickest way to get someone to shut down is to continually interrupt them every time they try to speak to you.

When you interject your thoughts and ideas when a person is speaking it says, “I already know what you are going to say. What you are saying is not important to me. Listen to what I want to talk about.”

4.Don’t offer advice. Affirm him and acknowledge his intelligence. Tell him: “I know you are wise and will do what is best.” If he wants advice let him ask for it. If you show yourself supportive and believe in him, you will be the first person he goes to when he needs to bounce ideas around before taking action.

5.Don’t criticize. When you withhold criticism and judgment you create a safe place between you and your man. Safety and security is extremely important to assure continual communication in a relationship.

You don’t have to always agree with your man, but you most certainly can listen. Let listening be a means by which you gain understanding as to his thought processes, discover his values and learn what ultimately is most important to him.

Why is communication important in a relationship?

The key to communication is listening. Anybody can talk. And just because you are talking does not mean anybody is listening. If you are only talking and nobody is truly listening you are merely performing a monologue.

Communication is important in a relationship because it is the first way we express how we feel and what we think. Your mouth is connected to your heart. From the overflow of the heart comes the words of the mouth.

If you don’t listen to your man, somebody else will. And the person he shares his secrets with is the person he shares his heart with. Remember that the next time he opens up and you are less than interested. Learn to be actively interested in what interests your man. In so doing your love will deepen, your connection grow and your understanding increase.

Nothing feels better than being able to be completely transparent, real and open with someone who does not judge you but loves you as you are. Unconditional love is affirming and accepting at all times. It is first shown in the way we listen to one another.

Happy listening and loving!

Paul Davis is author of Breakthrough for a Broken Heart a book telling us “How to overcome disappointments and blossom into your dreams!” He is a creative consultant, life coach (relational & professional), fitness trainer, minister, popular worldwide keynote speaker, adventure capitalist, explorer, negotiator, mediator, liberator and dream-maker.

Paul’s compassion for people & passion to travel has taken him to over 50 countries of the world where he has had a tremendous impact. Paul has also greatly impacted many in war-torn, impoverished and tsunami stricken regions of the earth. His nonprofit organization Dream-Maker Ministries is building dreams and breaking limitations.

Paul’s Breakthrough Seminars inspire, revive, awaken, impregnate with purpose, impart the fire of desire, catapult people into a new level of self-awareness, facilitate destiny discovery and dream fulfillment.

Paul can be contacted at:
RevivingNations@yahoo.com
407-967-7553 or 407-282-1745

For additional info: http://www.CreativeCommunications.TV http://www.DreamMakerMinistries.com

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