Relationship renewal day will be celebrated on 4th May. This is the day to renew and bring new freshness in relationships. What does this mean? Why do relationships go dull and bad some times? Can bad relationships be renewed? Let us talk about all these.

Most of the relationships go through phases. In the beginning the relationship is full of care and love. The partners/spouses show extreme love and concern for each other. Till then they have not found out the differences. They crop up after some time. There are few ways the difference crop up. One may be expectations. The other may be- I am being used complex. The third may be- probably we are not right for each other. Let us find out how to bring a new life to the relationship that is suffering because of the problems I mentioned and other problems.

The first step is to stop complaining and begin thanking your partner. No one likes to hear complains every day. They also have their complains. Stop complaining and start saying Thanks for all that your partner does for you. You may say that there is nothing to thank for, but still try and find a reason to say -Thank you. That will bring immediate change and you will notice it.

The next step is to talk with your partners about his/her problems. Become a genuine friend and find out what is troubling them. That will make your partner feel that you are concerned. When you listen to their problems, you may find lot of truth in that. Try to do what ever you can to solve the problems and never let your partner feel lonely.

The third step is to begin saying I Love You in as many ways as possible. Let your partner feel the love again. This expression of love will bring the spark of affection back in your life.

CDMohatta writes- Relationships Articles & Advice, Love Articles & Advice and Marriage Articles & Advice.

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Losing your castle can either be really great or really traumatic depending on how ready you are for what’s ahead. The transition from bachelor pad to love nest has been and can be survived with the proper planning and understanding. If you are ready for the eventual changes and proactive in their implementation the experience promises to be a positive one. On the other hand if you ignore the needs of your new “roommate” and disaster looms ahead. It should be noted at this point that it’s essential that you get along. If you don’t get along living apart it probably won’t get any better once you’re locked in together everyday.

The concept you will have to get used to the most is that of sharing. Sharing space, sharing meals, sharing the remote, sharing duties and sharing decisions on everything. Hopefully since you’ve decided to move in together due diligence has been used in making this decision. It’s tough for anybody to go from King of the Castle to a 50/50 partner just like that. What’s more, those numbers might not be entirely accurate. Using the “tie goes to the runner” theorem it’s sometimes more like 51/49 for her. This is OK though. You will need to give in order to take.

Certain issues are sure to arise and there are times that you just need to do what you’re told. Cleaning falls into this category. Standards are going to go up. Actual cleaning products will need to be purchased. There may be a schedule involved. You need to use this as a positive. You might as well start taking some joy in living in a clean, organized environment. It’s really not all that bad. I motivate myself using the 2 for 1 theory. For every good thing I do, I get two good things back. If you start to enjoy a clean bathroom, you’ll always want a clean bathroom. That’s one. By keeping the bathroom clean you are justified in playing weekly golf with the boys. That’s two. Do one thing, get two. It’s all a matter of perspective.

With the right attitude you can embrace these changes. After a while you may just find a clean bedroom floor or getting into a made bed at night makes life that much better. You may find that having your posters and old paint replaced by some soothing d

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Ever had a new puppy? It’s a tough business getting the best out of your dog so that you both enjoy and love each other. Building that bond of trust and trustworthiness needs work! Understanding puppies is much the same as understanding men.

If you let your new dog run free with no thought of discipline or training, there will be poop and puddles all over the house. He will be found humping anything available without a care in the world and he’ll run away without casting a glance over his shoulder. You’ll most probably fine him happily begging for food and attention in the nearest comfortable, inviting abode,

If you train your dog properly, he’ll learn where he can relieve himself and where he cannot. He will know that he can’t run around where and with whom he pleases. He will learn not to bite the hand that feeds him.

If you go about your training in the right way, with firmness but with plenty of rewards for good behaviour, your dog will become obedient, loving, loyal and your best friend.

The bond between owner and dog is one of trust. How can you cultivate this same trust between you and your man? What do you need to do to inspire mutual trust?

Here is a list of does and don’ts:

Don’t Be A Doormat

Don’t be a pushover. Let him know where you stand on issue such as slavery, infidelity, lies and being taken for granted. Make it clear, be firm but don’t go on and on endlessly about it. Just as you would with a dog, let your man know where your boundaries are.

Be Tender And Compassionate And Sometimes Display Tough Love
Be loving but never be scared to be tough when necessary. Never let your emotions interfere with your training. No matter how cute and cuddly he is..he is still a dog.

Never, Ever, Tell Anyone A Secret Your Man Has Told You.
If your man finds out that you have told a secret, that he has shared with you, he will never fully trust you again. In fact, the relationship may well be doomed because it will not blossom into an open relationship where he will tell you everything. Don’t succumb to this act of betrayal

Never Contradict Or Embarrass Him in Public.
He might be acting like a jerk but he is your jerk and loyalty dictates that you don’t vent your criticism in public. If you belittle him, especially in front of his friends, he will resent and distrust you.

Never Use Things He Tells You Against Him
He will never trust and confide in you if he thinks it will ultimately become ammunition. Don’t do it.

Rein In On Erratic Emotions
Men just don’t understand wild emotional swings. Neither do dogs. Keep a lid on screaming, hysteria, and general outrageous emotional behaviour. Get yourself some Evening Primrose oil or something for those PMT times.

Sexual Trust
Consider indulging some of his sexual requests, unless they are too way out or painful. You will probably enjoy it anyway but sexual trust is a big bond builder. Sexual slave? No. Sexual trust? Yes.

Okay, bear in the mind the above rules, get a collar, a lead and a pocket of guy treats and go out and train yourself a man.

Alison Bennett is relationship advisor to The Dating Handbook

http://www.thedatinghandbook.com
http://www.thedatinghandbook.co.uk

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While conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.

The secret is in how you approach and handle the conflict. It can make the difference between a really great relationship and a breakup looking for a place to happen.

With that notion in mind, let’s take a look at five styles of handling conflict, along with alternative solutions for each.

Ready-Fire-Aim

These folks are the shooters of conflict. They live by the motto “cross me and you will pay.” Instead of ready-aim-fire, they shoot first and ask questions later. This style causes lots of damage and usually serves to isolate the shooter.

Alternative solution: In the words of Stephen Covey, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” If you take the time to understand someone and that person’s point of view, it’s a whole lot easier to keep your shooter in its holster.

Crock potters

They let a conflict simmer for a while. Sometimes it can be as harmless as needing to mull things over before handling conflict. At their worst, crock potters simmer and seethe, building resentments, blowing up, or both.

Alternative solution: It can be healthy and productive to mull it over before you respond in a conflict. Instead of allowing it to boil over, agree on a time you will sit down together and calmly address the conflict.

Me right/you wrong

This style of conflict really is as primitive as Tarzan. People who hold tightly to the right to be right can go to just about any length to prove they are right, even to the point of ending the relationship.

Alternative solution: Punt. Give up the right to be right. Check out what you might be able to learn from the other point of view, which might even be as valid as your own. Shocking, I realize, but highly possible. The simple truth is that in marriage there are times when you can be right or be happy, but not both.

Tomb-ers

They elevate the infamous silent treatment to an art form. Conflict arises and they shut down. When you ask what’s wrong, their reply is either “nothing” or “everything’s fine,” but you know better.

Alternative solution: Usually tomb-ers have a strong fear of conflict, believing that any conflict will end the relationship. Quite the opposite is true _ not dealing with the conflict can kill the relationship from within. Here are some words to begin with: “Can I tell you what I’m uncomfortable with here?”

Historians

They remember every fault, mistake and blunder ever made by their partner, including what was said, what you wore and where you were standing at the time. And, they’re more than willing to remind you, in detail.

Alternative solution: Get a dry-erase board. Write the current conflict on the blank board. Deal with it. Resolve it. Erase it. Over, done with, gone.

I’m guessing that you have identified your partner’s style of conflict. Now, read back through the categories and ask yourself:

Which one am I?

For more immediately useable tips and tools for your relationship, visit relationship coach Jeff Herring’s interactive website at SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

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Couples therapists report a 50% increase in female infidelity. The cover story in the current issue of Newsweek magazine is all about cheating wives: “The New Infidelity - From Office Affairs to Internet Hook-Ups, More Wives Are Cheating Too.” Yet, as widespread as female infidelity has become, many unsuspecting husbands have no idea their wives are having an affair. They often find themselves in a situation like David in the Newsweek article, who found out his wife was cheating the day she told him she wanted a divorce. Unsuspecting husbands are often surprised when they learn about a cheating wife’s extramarital affair. But, the stark reality is that if a husband isn’t familiar with the signs of infidelity, by the time he finds out his wife is cheating, it’s usually too late.

Women Don’t Become Cheaters Overnight
Yet many of the signs may have been there all along. A woman doesn’t become a cheating wife overnight. Infidelity develops in stages. In almost every case, there are numerous telltale signs along the way. In fact, many of the warning signs of impending infidelity are evident long before the physical act of infidelity actually takes place.

Know How to Spot the Telltale Signs
The husband who knows how to spot the signs of infidelity has a fighting chance to save his marriage. He won’t end up like John LeSage in the Newsweek article who was devastated when he came home one day and found that his wife of 24 years had disappeared. John said, “I would have done a lot things differently, but I never got the chance.” This loving, but unsuspecting husband never knew his marriage was in jeopardy because he was unfamiliar with the warning signs.

Identifying the Problem
The first step in solving a problem is knowing that the problem exists. There are certain telltale signs that serve as a wake-up call that a marriage is in trouble. A husband doesn’t need to hire a private detective or invest in sophisticated surveillance equipment to find out if his wife is having an affair. If he knows what to look for, all he needs are his eyes, his ears and his personal knowledge of his wife. Knowing what to look for is the key.

21 Categories of Telltale Signs
There are 21 categories of telltale signs, with numerous signs in each category. Of course, no can be expected to know them all. That’s why it makes sense to invest in a relationship reference book like Is He Cheating on You? in order to become more knowledgeable about the warning signs. After all, most families have a medical reference book in their home to alert them to the signs and symptoms of health and medical problems. The same thing applies to marital problems like infidelity.

Universal Telltale Signs
Some of the signs of infidelity documented in Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs apply exclusively to cheating men. But many of the signs are universal and apply to both cheating husbands and cheating wives. Additional information about infidelity can be found at www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com Although the website is primarily directed to women, about a third of the e-mails received come from men seeking advice about various telltale signs.

So What Should a Husband Do?

With infidelity affecting 80% of all marriages, the husband who values his marriage would do well to become familiar with the warning signs. He should always strive to be aware of his wife’s feelings and keep abreast of the things that are going on in her life. It’s not about being overly suspicious. It’s about keeping a finger on the pulse of his marriage. Forewarned is forearmed. This way, he’ll be equipped to recognize even the most subtle telltale signs. The future of his marriage may well depend on his ability to spot those telltale signs in time.

© Ruth Houston 2004 All rights reserved.

Ruth Houston is the author of “Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs”. For more information about the book or about infidelity, visit http://www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com or http://www.InfidelityAdvice.com To receive a FREE Special Report which describes each of the 21 Categories of Telltale Signs, send an e-mail to InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with “21 categories” in the subject line.

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