Do you see the world through rose colored glasses? Traditionally this saying was used to describe someone who only sees pleasant things around them, blissfully ignorant of any problems. Roses actually come in a variety of colors, so you could wear a set of yellow or blue rose colored glasses and experience a completely different set of emotions than with the traditional red or pink lenses.

Throughout history, roses have been given on every imaginable occasion, and this highly symbolic gesture has continued to evolve in meaning and tradition. Give the wrong color rose and you could be socially ostracized- well, most likely not, but it never hurts to be aware of the symbolic meaning of the roses you are going to send.

Many of our ideas about the symbolic meaning behind plants and flower colors come from Victorian times, when people did not feel free to verbally express certain feelings. In the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, first in Europe and then later in the Americas, language-of-flowers dictionaries flourished, giving proper Victorian people a more socially acceptable way to communicate deep, passionate feelings.

Red, at least on St. Valentines Day, is the most commonly given color of rose, and it usually symbolizes romantic love. It can also symbolize courage and passion, but giving red roses to someone not aware of this could lead to an uncomfortable misunderstanding. Be aware of the possible perceptions of your intended recipient.

While all red roses symbolize desire, subtle variations in color can have different symbolic meaning. Amaranth red roses are a symbol of long standing desire, and cardinal red means sublime desire. Carmine means false desire, and fiery red can
represent flames of passion. A deep red rose can indicate bashful shame. The burgundy rose has always been symbolic of unconscious beauty.

Do you need a rose that sends a more platonic message of friendship and good will? Consider the yellow rose, messenger of joy, friendship, caring, sympathy, delight. A yellow rose can also symbolize new beginnings, and can say, “Remember Me”.
In Victorian times, yellow roses were a symbol of jealousy. The ambiguous nature of the meaning of yellow roses lends magic to this color choice as a gift.

The white rose is commonly used in weddings, and in this context it signifies happy love. It can also mean spiritual love and purity, humility, charm, or innocence. It can also mean, “I am worthy of you,” or be used as a gesture of platonic love.

Lavender roses symbolize love at first sight and enchantment, and can also be used to say “congratulations” to a graduate. Any shade of purple rose exudes a sense of majestic beauty.

A pink rose can hold many meanings. A darker pink rose can symbolize gratitude and appreciation, while a lighter shade of pink could show admiration, sympathy, or joy. Orange roses can signify enthusiasm or desire, or a feeling of warmth, whereas coral usually implies only desire.

The final two colors of roses are intertwined with the world of fantasy and mythology. While neither black nor blue roses occur naturally, both are attempted by florists through drying and dyeing. Black has traditionally been symbolic of death. Consequently, the black rose has been seen as a bad omen, but may also signal rejuvenation. The black rose is probably best used only as a gag gift, however, its meaning is likely to be misinterpreted and you may wind up scaring someone. The blue rose has been considered the “holy grail” of roses. While scientists are currently trying to genetically engineer this elusive flower, the only ones now commercially available are created using blue dye. The blue rose symbolizes fantasy, impossibility, and the search for miracles.

Sending roses has always been a way to express feelings that are difficult to convey in words. By carefully selecting the color , you add a touch of class to any gift and can convey a message steeped in emotion and history. Even though you are no longer blissfully ignorant about the meaning behind the colors of roses, at least you can find the rose colored glasses that best fit you.

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As I had discovered the man that I had married was not completely honest, surprise! Surprise! Only after everything was all over did I discover to what extent his betrayal actually was.

From the time we had even been dating there was always someone else. My ex-husbands choices were young girls - girls that he picked up from his place of work, but anything female he would take to. My appearance is childlike, tiny and petite, just the way he likes them. I was used as a type of cover to help keep his dirty little secret, make him look respectable towards his family, work colleague’s and friends. That on the surface everything was normal, Ha.

Life was miserable at home with everything that had occurred, and was all controlled by him. Fights occurred regularly, violent and very mentally abusive. Nothing I did was right, but it couldn’t be! How would he be able to pick up his next victim if we had a happy life?! Having a bad marriage is the pick up line.

Only once my family & friends who helped me escape from him, did more “truths” come out about his nature, and what he had really been up to. I was in our head office, which my partner and I both worked at, but in different sections. This day I was told about “the baby”! We were separated at the time, but this day I happened to say I was divorced. The other employee and friend of my husband said, “Was that because of the baby?”Well, I nearly fell off my chair, jaw dropped and a shake of the head - had I heard correctly. He went on and told me more - the sad thing was I did know about this young girl. She was only 14 years old and was pregnant. There were big discussions on how to handle the situation with the managers, as my partner had told me. Alas, he did not tell me the whole truth.He had substituted parts of the story! I was told the part-time manager had been the father of this particular young girls baby, not that it was him. So, I was supposedly getting all the information, but the most important part!

I always had suspected about what was going on, but could not prove it and probably did not want to believe. The man I fell in love with was such a deviant - not the man I married. As we learn there is always an excellent lie to go with the excuse. Your head is put in such a spin that you don’t know what direction to go in.

My lesson is believe in your gut feeling, those phone numbers that you find in his pockets, fights caused for no reason, put downs about yourself, strange phone calls at night saying “it’s work” and amazing stories that you think can’t be true. Well they’re not! He is seeing someone else. If someone lie’s a little, they will lie a lot! The horrible thing is when you are in love - you a blind, deaf and dumb. This story was just the tip of the ice-burg.

Visit: http://www.catch-a-cheating-wife.com/

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Work. Bills. Kids. Chores.

Etc.

All these things get in the way of enjoying being a couple, and having fun together gets left behind.

I mentioned this recently on the Steve and Sara show on Magic 107.1, and got a few e-mails asking me how to have fun as a couple when you are so busy.

At first I was stunned that people were asking how to have fun. Then as I thought about it, I began to realize that many people forget as they get caught up in getting through each day.

So here are three tips on having fun:

1) I have an old Family Circus comic in my office with just two panels to the story. In the first panel, Mom and Dad are inside, watching a very learned looking gentleman on television speak on the fundamentals of having fun. The next panel shows the kids outside, you guessed it, having fun. If you have forgotten how to have fun, watch a kid, because they have not forgotten.

2) Make a list of 5 to 8 things you like to do for fun. If you can’t think of five things you like to do for fun, my office hours are …

Then look over your list and check off the things you have done in the last day, week or month. If you are like most of us, there are not many checks.

3) Pick one thing from the list and commit to doing it within the next week. Do it, and then you will have made 100 percent improvement over what you have done recently. Then pick another, and then another, and so on.

And the couple that has fun together has a much better chance of staying together.

Jeff Herring is a Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Syndicated Relationship Columnist. Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for more relationship tips and tools, a f’ree internet newsletter and f’ree e-programs to enrich your relationship.

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What does a sophisticated, intellectual woman from Detroit have in common with a portly (his word) guy’s guy from Chicago? We both hit rock-bottom in relationships. The fact that the guy from Chicago is famous doesn’t make us less equal. In the end, whether man or woman, we must face ourselves.

In his newest book, “Real Men Don’t Apologize” (Hyperion), Jim Belushi does just that.

I read somewhere that the human brain absorbs information at a deeper level when a person is laughing. If that’s true, you will learn more about what it means to be a man, according to Jim, than any Dr. Phil lecture. (ABC didn’t pay me to work in that plug, honest.)

While Belushi shares his knowledge about dating, sex and marriage, based on personal, painful and poignant experience, at its root this book is about defining who you are and establishing your boundaries. Hence, the title: Real Men Don’t Apologize … for who they are!

And unless you define who you are as a man, you have no possibility of setting boundaries that help determine with whom you would share your life or what your expectations should be realistically.

If you’re skeptical that Belushi can provide the basic building blocks of male self-confidence, buy the book and read the last chapter first. Whether you’re the type who reads the Playboy Forum or the person who is clueless when it comes to women, Belushi reveals the mysteries of dating women and helps you close the deal.

I happen to agree with everything he advocates in the dating game (and yes, it is a game, so have fun!) Except for one thing…

Jim, if you’re reading this, and we ever happen to share a meal, DO NOT touch my plate (inside joke people.) You’ll have to read the book.

One last teaser for the women: Read page 151 and your sex life will never be the same. That goes for guys too, but my guess is that a woman most likely will be handing you this book. That’s okay. My point is that there is something here for everyone.

Visit Man-o-pause.com: Providing Midlife Men a Place to Breathe, for more insights.

Nicolette Beard is a former editor, publisher and advertising executive. Currently, she provides insightful commentary on issues men face including midlife crisis, male menopause and man’s purpose in life. Man-o-pause.com is the only blog for men written from a woman’s unique perspective.

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You would think in today’s world where the word ‘old spinster’ is an outdated phrase and ‘confirmed bachelor’ means something very different than it used to years ago, people would have learned how to speak to an unmarried person politely. But I still hear rude personal questions and offhand remarks from other people about the fact that a person is not married. Most of the time, these impolite comments are made right to the person’s face. There is certain etiquette when speaking to an unmarried person about the fact that they are unmarried. These are the five basic rules:

1. Do not refer to or ask how old a person is when talking about the fact that they are not married yet. In today’s world, people get married in their 30s, 40s, even 50s for the very first time. Many people today consider getting married in your 20s to be too young and so they wait until they’re a little bit older and more mature in order to find the right person. Not only are you being impolite when making comments about an unmarried person’s age but you are also terribly old fashioned.

2. Do not ask the person to explain why they are still single. People have millions of reasons for being single. Each and every one of these reasons is none of your business. Don’t ask if it has anything to do with children, being gay or sexual fears. Asking for a reason is just rude.

3. Do not assume that the person is not married because they have a fear of responsibility. Many people who are staying single into later life feel that they are being very responsible with this decision. With the rising divorce rates, many people firmly believe it is better to wait to get married rather than rush into anything that will result in heartbreak and financial ruin.

4. Do not accuse a person of being too particular. Just because you found the perfect partner early on, does not mean that everybody else will. Everyone is entitled to take as much time as they need to find right person for them. No one rushed you, so don’t rush them.

5. Do not ask an unmarried person what ‘exactly’ they are looking for. I don’t think anybody actually knows what exactly they’re looking for in a soul mate. Even if someone thinks they know exactly they are looking for, chances are the person they eventually end up with will not be anything like they imagined. So it is just best not to ask.

So there you have it, five easy rules for the etiquette of speaking to an unmarried person. Just because the person is still single does not mean they are any less of a person and does not give you any more right to be a pompous ass.

This article was written by Heather A Rhoades and was sponsored by the Compare Best Online Dating website which allows you to compare different online dating services and choose the right one for you. Reprints of this article are encouraged as long as a live link is provided back to http://www.comparebestonlinedating.com.

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