Are you living your life out of purpose or out of need? If you are living out of purpose, then all your decisions will reflect this on the way toward your destination. If you hear a calling from God, you will be moving forward in that direction. You will be going somewhere.
But if you are living life out of need, all your decisions will be made based on how you feel. When things are going your way you will feel good; and when things are not going your way, you will feel bad.
You may not be going forward because you find yourself camping out at the place where you “feel good.” Or the opposite may be true for you if you are living life out of need; then everyday may be like riding a rollercoaster. Some days you are way up and some days you are way down. A roller coaster goes up and then quickly drops way down. Also, a roller coaster does not go anywhere, it just has a predetermined track that it runs on.
People who live life out of need also have a predetermined track they run on. They do the same thing over and over and expect different results. Some people love roller coasters because of the feeling they get - the adrenaline rush they feel when it is creeping up the track, and then all of a sudden, the drop. This can also become a way of life if you live life out of need. Getting attention can give you that adrenaline rush; but if you are getting attention from the wrong person, you will feel dropped when the attention is gone. People who live life out of need will stay on the same track trying to get that need met the same way only to find that they end up in the same place every time. They’re not going anywhere.
People of purpose experience fulfillment knowing they are pressing on towards the mark or the goal that has been set. The journey to reach that goal will be hard, and there will be ups and downs, but at least they know they are going somewhere. A person with purpose does not pay as much attention to the ups and downs as they do to the destination. They are not dependent on the need to feel good. This is why a person who is living out of need is always distracted by the ups and downs, and how good it feels when they are up and how bad it feels when they are down. The goal of this article is to help you come to the point that you begin to do what you do out of purpose instead of out of need. So you can make the journey and fulfill your purpose instead of just going around and around and up and down on a rollercoaster ride. The first step is to determine if you are living life out of purpose or out of need.
Living life out of need
Everyone needs to feel accepted and approved and to have someone’s attention or appreciation for what they have done. You feel good when you know you are accepted and you meet someone’s approval. These needs are valid and legitimate. But if you become consumed with having your needs met, you will get off track. These emotional needs have such a strong invisible pull that they can dictate and direct many of our decisions in life. These needs can actually get you off track as you move towards the goal of fulfilling your purpose. It is easy to get off track because unmet emotional needs create a deep void inside that demands to be filled. If these needs are not met, they have such a strong pull that many people will do things they never thought they would do just to get their needs met. Before you realize it you find yourself consumed with getting your needs met, and now you are living life out of need instead of purpose.
A successful businessman might cheat on his wife and risk losing everything out of a need for attention. His secretary meets this need by listening to everything he says, and he loves how good he feels when the need is met. A pastor of a large church might leave a very successful ministry all because he doesn’t feel appreciated for all his hard work. His need for appreciation is so strong it pulls him to do something he never would have dreamed of doing.
A Christian who is motivated by need is in bondage; all their thoughts and decisions are dictated by their need, and therefore they serve the need instead of the Lord.
Example:
A person who needs to be shown appreciation may spend their life serving others instead of doing the thing that God has called them to do. They will not be happy or satisfied living life trying to get this need met. If you are doing what you do in order to get a need met through your own efforts, it will not work. Our own self efforts will always hinder God’s provision. If you orchestrate it, then you defile it. If you do what you do in order to gain appreciation, then you are living life out of need instead of purpose.
A person who has a need for acceptance may spend half their life going from place to place trying to find where they fit in, trying to find a place where they are accepted or even celebrated. Their goal in life is to find someone who accepts them, therefore they are living life out of need instead of purpose.
A person who has a need for approval will spend countless hours trying to impress others doing whatever it takes to gain their approval. Even if it means working long hours or moving across the country, the need for approval is so great they will do almost anything. Their goal is to get to a point of accomplishment so they will receive approval from those they respect. The problem is they become dependent on the people that give them that much needed approval. A dependency on others for approval will cause you to turn from living life out of purpose to living life out of need.
The need for attention may cause a person to do whatever it takes to be the center of attention. This need usually shows up when there is a crowd and the person does something to steal the show. Even if it is just for a moment, the need has been met. They will not be satisfied for long because they are living life out of need instead of purpose. They can’t move forward because they are stuck on the same track doing the same thing always trying to get that much needed attention.
Are you living your life out of need? Here are a few more symptoms or characteristics of a needy person.
A needy person cannot see
The needy person may fall into the same trap over and over if they continue to try to get their need met in the wrong way. They cannot see what the problem is so they will fall into the same hole or the same trap every time. They cannot see it, but the motive behind many of their decisions is based on getting their needs met.
A needy person does not listen
If whatever someone suggests does not meet their need, they will shut it down and have no desire to even listen to what the person has to say.
A needy person hinders
A needy person hinders or blocks anything that does not accomplish their primary focus, and that focus is getting their needs met.
A needy person may demand all the attention.
A needy person has to be the one who has the best idea.
A needy person has to be the one in charge.
A needy person may always be giving, but always feel unappreciated.
If you realize you have been living a needy life and you want to be free so you can live life out of purpose, take these four steps.
Step 1
Realize what your unmet needs are.
Step 2
Acknowledge the needs that you struggle with, and what you are doing in an attempt to meet your own needs.
Step 3
Desire healing. If you have unmet needs, then you need healing.
For more information on Healing the pain of unmet needs go to www.livingwatersministry.com.
Denise Boggs is an author, teacher, and director of Living Waters Ministry.
She writes a daily devotional call The Path Called Righteousness. http://www.livingwatersministry.com/devotionalsubscribe.htm
Tags: acceptance, affection, appreciation, approval, needs, purpose, relationshipsacceptance, affection, appreciation, approval, needs, purpose, relationshipsShare This