The Two Most Powerful Words to Use in Overcoming Relationship Challenges

When a challenge arises with your spouse, partner, child, parent, friend, or colleague, do you work it through together, in pursuit of the ultimate outcome of feeling good and being content with each other? Or do you just say, “forget this, I am going to go find another husband, wife, friend, partner, boss, colleague!”?

During a disagreement I was having recently with a friend, I had the realization that it is so easy for people to just disregard one another and just ‘throw each other out’. Many of us have often thought “if this friendship/relationship is not working, we might as well replace this person with someone else…” either now or in the future and I’d like to add, that usually the ‘replacement’ is equally as frustrating.

The question to consider is, when you are having a challenge with yourself, DO YOU JUST THROW YOURSELF OUT OF YOUR OWN LIFE TOO?

We know the answer to this! Of course you don’t throw yourself out, because YOU CAN’T!

What would your life be like if you knew you couldn’t just toss out a relationship that is not working? What if instead you had to come to terms with it, to confront your fears about it with the person with whom you are having the challenge? What if you had to work through the situation with the other person?

With the laws of attraction and being as powerful as you truly are, realize too that you CAN come to terms with and CAN confront your fears.

If we were as committed to our relationships with each other as we are to ourselves, divorce rates would be cut down substantially, there would be much more collaboration between businesses, governments and countries and there would be even greater peace in the world than what we have now.

The next question, therefore, is how can you work together with your spouse, partner, colleague, child, parent, or friend to come to clarity together?

If you ARE committed to working through what may seem to be even the greatest challenge you have faced, and both of you are identifying what you desire and whether you are willing to support each other, the two best responses that you can use to actually work through the challenges you are having are…

Yes

And

I love you.

Until next time have a beautiful week and may you Be-Inspired.

As an International Speaker, Author, and Life Synchronicity Coach, Joshua Zuchter (http://www.joshuazuchter.com) has inspired thousands to live their potential and discover ultimately who they really are.
His weekly e-zine Be-Inspired is becoming the premier source of weekly inspiration for people world-wide and his message is clear… live and love from a place of inspiration.
Described as a speaker with a dynamic and engaging presence, Joshua displays wisdom far beyond his years and has spoken at over 700 keynotes, seminars, and workshops with thousands of people both nationally and internationally.
Joshua’s background is eclectic with studies in Reiki and Qi Gong, martial arts, Feng Shui, Therapeutic Touch, Brain Gym, The Silva Method, Sound Therapy, and Applied Nutrition.
A specialist in human dynamics, he is at the forefront of understanding the energetic principles of creation and the human psyche. Joshua has a coaching and speaking practice with his life, love and business partner Ellen in Toronto, Canada.

Tags: Inspiration, , , , Joshua Zuchter, life coach, synchronicity

How to Say No to a NICE GUY

The phone is on its fourth ring. It could be your mother, or your best friend. Or it could be him - the man who boxed you into conversation at that party on Friday night. Was he sweet? Certainly. Were you attracted to him? No. So explain this - after you suppressed another yawn, he said, “I’d love to see you again. Can I take your number?” Every bone in your body whimpered, “Me? You? No, no!” but you said, “Oh, er, Ok. My number is…” So here you sit, glaring at the phone, a prisoner of your own social life.

For so many women, rebuffing that nice man with th sex appeal of a warthog is the social equivalent of sticking pins under your fingernails. Why agree to see a man you don’t like? “I don’t want to hurt his feelings,” a role statement. So is it cowardice or compassion that makes saying no so hard?

That said, faced with rejection, many men prefer a neatly wrapped white lie to blunt reality. But isn’t that decepton? Who benefits when you tell a man you don’t find him attractive? You don’t want to say it and he certainly doesn’t want to hear it.

So what do men want to hear, if not yes? “I have a boyfriend,” takes top marks in the lie department. “When a woman tells me she has a boyfriend I think, ‘Well, if she wasn’t attached she’d jump at the chance,’” says Louis, 26, a solicitor. But what if the man in question knows you’re single? Try, “I’m sorry, I’m just so incredibly busy.” However, don’t elaborate with something like, “I have to get home to watch the paint peel.” He may volley back with, “Well, that shouldn’t take long. Let’s meet for coffee later.”

You could also make it your personal policy, never ever to give out your phone number. If a man asks, respond politely with, “I’m sorry, I just don’t give out my phone number.” If he persists, say, “Why don’t I take your number?” You’re saying you’ll take it. You’re not saying you’ll use it.

Above all, the key to brushing off a man nicely is just that - to be nice. “I’m busy” can sound either sincere or agitated, depending on your tone and expression. Following tips will certainly help you:

First, look relaxed, even if you’re stunned. Smile and make eye contact. Second, keep your voice calm and say something such as, “Thanks, I’m flattered, but I’m just too busy. “Don’t speak too quickly or you’ll look awkward. Third, respond with a downward inflection at the end of your sentence, while making eye contact. A dip in your voice when you say the word “busy” connotes authority and lets him know you mean it. Your smile, however, shows him you mean it in a no-hard-feelings way.

Virtually all men agree no matter what you say and how you say it, the sooner you let him down, the better. Rest assured, when you turn him down, he’ll get over it. If he has the ego to ask you out, he has the ego to move on. Now, answer that phone!

Facing problems in your love life or got stuck in a relationship? All you need is to visit Love-Lectures.com which provides relationship expert advice for love, dating & romance to help you building healthy and successful relationship.
Also don’t forget to check out - Free Love Test & Relationship Quiz - as a unique and fun-filled approach to get almost all your questions answered.

Tags: how to say no, , , , nice guy, no dating, saying no to a guy for a date

Living Life Out of Purpose Instead of Need

Are you living your life out of purpose or out of need? If you are living out of purpose, then all your decisions will reflect this on the way toward your destination. If you hear a calling from God, you will be moving forward in that direction. You will be going somewhere.

But if you are living life out of need, all your decisions will be made based on how you feel. When things are going your way you will feel good; and when things are not going your way, you will feel bad.

You may not be going forward because you find yourself camping out at the place where you “feel good.” Or the opposite may be true for you if you are living life out of need; then everyday may be like riding a rollercoaster. Some days you are way up and some days you are way down. A roller coaster goes up and then quickly drops way down. Also, a roller coaster does not go anywhere, it just has a predetermined track that it runs on.

People who live life out of need also have a predetermined track they run on. They do the same thing over and over and expect different results. Some people love roller coasters because of the feeling they get - the adrenaline rush they feel when it is creeping up the track, and then all of a sudden, the drop. This can also become a way of life if you live life out of need. Getting attention can give you that adrenaline rush; but if you are getting attention from the wrong person, you will feel dropped when the attention is gone. People who live life out of need will stay on the same track trying to get that need met the same way only to find that they end up in the same place every time. They’re not going anywhere.

People of purpose experience fulfillment knowing they are pressing on towards the mark or the goal that has been set. The journey to reach that goal will be hard, and there will be ups and downs, but at least they know they are going somewhere. A person with purpose does not pay as much attention to the ups and downs as they do to the destination. They are not dependent on the need to feel good. This is why a person who is living out of need is always distracted by the ups and downs, and how good it feels when they are up and how bad it feels when they are down. The goal of this article is to help you come to the point that you begin to do what you do out of purpose instead of out of need. So you can make the journey and fulfill your purpose instead of just going around and around and up and down on a rollercoaster ride. The first step is to determine if you are living life out of purpose or out of need.

Living life out of need
Everyone needs to feel accepted and approved and to have someone’s attention or appreciation for what they have done. You feel good when you know you are accepted and you meet someone’s approval. These needs are valid and legitimate. But if you become consumed with having your needs met, you will get off track. These emotional needs have such a strong invisible pull that they can dictate and direct many of our decisions in life. These needs can actually get you off track as you move towards the goal of fulfilling your purpose. It is easy to get off track because unmet emotional needs create a deep void inside that demands to be filled. If these needs are not met, they have such a strong pull that many people will do things they never thought they would do just to get their needs met. Before you realize it you find yourself consumed with getting your needs met, and now you are living life out of need instead of purpose.

A successful businessman might cheat on his wife and risk losing everything out of a need for attention. His secretary meets this need by listening to everything he says, and he loves how good he feels when the need is met. A pastor of a large church might leave a very successful ministry all because he doesn’t feel appreciated for all his hard work. His need for appreciation is so strong it pulls him to do something he never would have dreamed of doing.

A Christian who is motivated by need is in bondage; all their thoughts and decisions are dictated by their need, and therefore they serve the need instead of the Lord.

Example:
A person who needs to be shown appreciation may spend their life serving others instead of doing the thing that God has called them to do. They will not be happy or satisfied living life trying to get this need met. If you are doing what you do in order to get a need met through your own efforts, it will not work. Our own self efforts will always hinder God’s provision. If you orchestrate it, then you defile it. If you do what you do in order to gain appreciation, then you are living life out of need instead of purpose.

A person who has a need for acceptance may spend half their life going from place to place trying to find where they fit in, trying to find a place where they are accepted or even celebrated. Their goal in life is to find someone who accepts them, therefore they are living life out of need instead of purpose.

A person who has a need for approval will spend countless hours trying to impress others doing whatever it takes to gain their approval. Even if it means working long hours or moving across the country, the need for approval is so great they will do almost anything. Their goal is to get to a point of accomplishment so they will receive approval from those they respect. The problem is they become dependent on the people that give them that much needed approval. A dependency on others for approval will cause you to turn from living life out of purpose to living life out of need.

The need for attention may cause a person to do whatever it takes to be the center of attention. This need usually shows up when there is a crowd and the person does something to steal the show. Even if it is just for a moment, the need has been met. They will not be satisfied for long because they are living life out of need instead of purpose. They can’t move forward because they are stuck on the same track doing the same thing always trying to get that much needed attention.

Are you living your life out of need? Here are a few more symptoms or characteristics of a needy person.

A needy person cannot see

The needy person may fall into the same trap over and over if they continue to try to get their need met in the wrong way. They cannot see what the problem is so they will fall into the same hole or the same trap every time. They cannot see it, but the motive behind many of their decisions is based on getting their needs met.

A needy person does not listen
If whatever someone suggests does not meet their need, they will shut it down and have no desire to even listen to what the person has to say.

A needy person hinders
A needy person hinders or blocks anything that does not accomplish their primary focus, and that focus is getting their needs met.

A needy person may demand all the attention.
A needy person has to be the one who has the best idea.
A needy person has to be the one in charge.
A needy person may always be giving, but always feel unappreciated.

If you realize you have been living a needy life and you want to be free so you can live life out of purpose, take these four steps.

Step 1
Realize what your unmet needs are.

Step 2
Acknowledge the needs that you struggle with, and what you are doing in an attempt to meet your own needs.

Step 3
Desire healing. If you have unmet needs, then you need healing.
For more information on Healing the pain of unmet needs go to www.livingwatersministry.com.

Denise Boggs is an author, teacher, and director of Living Waters Ministry.
She writes a daily devotional call The Path Called Righteousness. http://www.livingwatersministry.com/devotionalsubscribe.htm

Tags: acceptance, , , , , , , affection, appreciation, approval, needs, purpose, relationships

Hurricanes and Relationships

Hurricanes can be a time of adversity, destruction and devastation, however they can also be a time of building relationships and meeting new friends. There is something about the human character and the innate characteristics of the human species which bonds people together who have lived through adversity.

Many times soldiers in war develop very close bonds after going through a battle in a very real life or death situation with the enemy. Many athletes say that when they go through a championship playoff game together they feel a sense of bonding and that bonding lasts in long-term friendships and relationships for years to come.

Hurricanes are a negative thing, but that does not mean that they have to be. The 2005 Atlantic tropical hurricane season, brought devastation to the Gulf Coast of the United States, but it also bonded all Americans in a common cause.

If you fail to evacuate or even if you go through the mandatory evacuation that is required by the rules and regulations of your state you may find yourself closer to your loved ones and friends who also had to endure the situation of the hurricane.

During the 2006 Atlantic tropical hurricane season perhaps you should be thinking about the relationships and long-term friendships that you will build due to mother nature. Think of this in 2006.

Lance Winslow

Tag: Hurricanes and Relationships

Couples Counseling

All relationships go through trying times; it’s how a couple handles those times that makes the difference between staying together and splitting up. A lot of people resort to couples’ counseling in a bid to save a fragile relationship.

The procedure is simple. A couple attends a therapy session to discuss specific issues, with the assistance of a qualified clinician, in a bid to restore stability and a communication channel into their relationship. This could be beneficial for a couple who is experiencing repetitive arguments, detachment, pent-up anger, bitterness, and dissatisfaction.

Ideally, a couple should undertake counseling together. If, however, one partner refuses to undertake therapy, the other could undertake it alone, to sort out issues independently. There may be changes one partner can make alone that would have a positive impact on the marriage. In fact, some people prefer to undertake counseling on their own to work out their feelings before seeing the counselor as a couple.

There are several benefits of couples’ counseling. It gives each partner a chance to air his or her feelings. It is also an opportunity to look at the problem from a different perspective. In order to achieve optimum results, each partner must share their discoveries and encourage the other to do likewise. Only then can the counselor suggest a path of action. For many couples, the solution is obvious - it just takes someone objective to pinpoint it.

However, it is a misconception that couples’ counseling saves a marriage. Only two people who want it to work and are compatible can save a marriage. With the aid of a therapist, they can adopt constructive communication habits, let go of pain, and get to the root of their problems. At the end of therapy, some couples prefer to go their separate ways. Thus, it is recommended to see a therapist as a way of making a difficult decision (to stay together or part ways).

Couples provides detailed information on Couples, Celebrity Couples, Interracial Couples, Couples Counseling and more. Couples is affiliated with Relationship Advice.

Tags: Celebrity Couples, , , , couples, Couples Counseling, Interracial Couples
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